What am I talking about? Well, I’m married you see. (No I never had two wives …) My beloved is a good woman (she’s not over my shoulder as I write this). She goes all out to provide for her family which is essentially three beautiful daughters and a ravenous husband. Often she leaves herself last and doesn’t treat herself. So recently she took the plunge and started looking after herself, and quite right too. Part of the redressing the balance involved her getting a pack of Snicker bars among other food goodies that she cordoned off exclusively for her stomach only. Now at first I was a bit put out by that, but reflecting on her sacrificial tendencies I let her have it, after all it’s about time she treated herself.
So she had this Snicker bar pack, which had 5 proper size bars in it. And I had two. Yeah I’m a bad man. Yeah I’ll be in the doghouse (again) for it. (Good wi-fi reception here though, I have to say.) In my defence, I never had any goodies of my own to plunder and so leave others out, and feeling peckish and in the mood for something sweet, I was just compelled to consume the bars. I did not resist. I was not strong enough.
Getting over that element, though, it was the first time I had actively chosen to have a Snickers bar since I cannot remember, and consuming them (one was never going to be enough) reminded me of the good things and the problems with Snickers.
Good Things About Snickers
You’ll remember me waxing lyrical (when you click the link) about chocolate bars in general and the Mars bar specifically. It’s how I’ve been brought up. I’m not ashamed of it. I loved chocolate then I love chocolate now.
As well as chocolate, my father also broke me into loving peanuts (I later graduated to cashew nuts when Dad thought I was responsible enough). A good bag of salted peanuts went down sublimely.
So already you should see where this is going in terms of a benefit of Snickers. You had chocolate that I loved, added to peanuts that I loved – what is not to love. The combination was expertly pulled off and as I reflected when I had the recent set of Snickers – it does taste good.
As well as that in the Premier League of chocolate bars in terms of quality and price, Snickers joined Kit-Kat and Mars in being a bar of quality that didn’t cost the earth. So back in the day it was just a given that when money was in my pocket it would soon make it’s way into the loving hands of the shopkeeper (usually a cool guy called Pete) in exchange for a Mars and a Snickers.
Plus as opposed to some other chocolates, I felt I was getting something substantial in a bar of Snickers. Some chocolate bars (not naming any names – Flake) would tantalise the taste-buds but leave you thinking it was rather … well … flaky. I had the Snickers on the other hand and I didn’t need that much more after that. (OK so I had two, but I was really, really hungry you understand.)
Especially back in the day, Snickers was a vital part of the DMCD diet. Obviously, though, things changed.
The Problem With Snickers
So as you would have gathered I loved me my Snickers, but then something happened. Well somethings happened.
First up there was the big issue of the name. I’ve faithfully referred to it as Snickers. That is the name on the wrapper. I submit to the decision of the makers of the product. But let’s get this straight. The true chocolate lovers know that the name was Marathon. In the day I loved my Marathon. I was confused and somewhat hurt that they changed it to Snickers. I mean come on, Marathon or Snickers – which sounds like a chocolate of substance and quality? Snickers. I mean, isn’t that a word for a little laughter? Isn’t someone meant to have ‘snickered’ at someone when they have a little chuckle at their expense? And you’re selling a chocolate based on a little chuckle? Seriously? Rather than Marathon – a name that says its lasting the distance, a name that says it is not for wimps, it is for people who will endure and enjoy the enduring taste of this chocolate experience. They took away the name, they defanged the substantial enduring bar. I’m sure it had something to do with someone from Greece taking issue with such a great god being reduced to a nutty chocolate bar. Whatever. Boo to Snickers, bring back Marathon.
Of course the name in itself would not have been something to put me off eating a chocolate bar. There was something about eating a Snickers that … well … was hard. Back to the combo of chocolate and peanuts. Though on paper that was a dream come true, in reality after a while it became a bit of an endurance test to make it through both chocolate and nut. That works in the initial exciting stages, but it’s not a grabbing stimulant to go for when all you need is something sweet. So from becoming a staple part of the DMCD diet, it became a growing rarity as other more amenable, less hassled chocolates came to the fore (like Flake to give a random example).
When you add those factors together and consider my ever growing tastes and need for an easier option wherever possible, Snickers understandably went down the pecking order faster than a fast thing on a fast day exhibiting an extraordinarily fast capacity. I’d even go for a Twix before a Snickers (and that’s not a good thing).
So although I loved taking the Snickers and consuming them – it is not the rebirth of the love that I had before for it. It’s a lovely nostalgic reference to a chocolate I knew way back when. This will obviously be good news for the remaining Snickers bars waiting in me wife’s collection!