AF Is Sponsored By … Beefburgers

Welcome to the best thing since sliced bread ... in fact meet the thing that makes sliced bread worth eating at all

As you know my mother is best cook on the planet.  That is just a fact.  I realise you might not have tasted the culinary delights of my mother, but that really is not my problem, you probably never saw the Brazil team of 1970 play live, but they remain the best national side to grace the game of football … ever.  Likewise my mother is the best cook on the planet.  My wife has taken considerable strides of improvement in her cuisine efforts, but even she knows better than to claim to be in the same universe as my mother when it comes to food.

Still, although my mother is the best cook on the planet and proved that in the 17 years that I spent eating the food she prepared at home, it wasn’t the case that I was always eating food she had prepared.  There were those rare occasions when we would digest things that were created by others.  Food that required bunging in the oven/grill and waiting to be prepared.  Food like chips. Among the many foods of that variety, I was introduced to the beefburger, and my life would never be the same.

Meats – I’ve talked about the importance of eating them, rather than the bone that they’re on.  When I was introduced to beefburgers I came across the ideal meat package.  I mean ideal.  Sinking your teeth into the deal would bring about meaty juicy goodness to send the taste buds into raptures not often experience this side of heaven … or my mother’s cooking.  Sometimes just the smell of the burgers when fried properly along with frying some onions, can in itself leave you salivating so much that there would be some serious pools of salivating sweetness to swim through.

Seriously check this bad boy out - and imagine that succulent juicy meat as you masticate it beautifully before digesting to tears of joy and gladness ...

No wonder the fast food industries base so much on the burger.  In between two baps, tenderly cared for with some salad and sumptuous sauce and all these are the back-up vocalists for the main vocal of that burger.  It can do solos of course, it’s not just a part of the band, but like John Lennon or Paul McCartney maybe their best stuff is done with the band.  Be in no doubt, though, it is all about the beefburger.

Let’s be clear though – I do mean beefburger.  For reasons known only to the makers of these things, off the back of the success of the beefburger they’ve tried it with other things like the chickenburger and the veggieburger.  Now these are pale imitations of the original.  Especially the chickenburger, they’ve really missed a trick here.  That crusty coating and stuff does nothing to make the experience particularly appealing and there are more bad impressions than good ones of a decent chickenburger.  Finding a decent one is a search of a lifetime and essentially not worth it.  The veggieburger is also a tragic tale of either getting a burger with vegetable bits inside which actually is rather unappealing or worse still getting to grips with some mushy trash that apparently is good for me, but doesn’t taste that way.  I have tasted a superb veggieburger, truly awesome in all its ways, sadly these are few and far between.

So we are left with the original, the best, the great tasting beefburger.  But hold on there a minute, lets not get carried away.  Even beefburgers can flatter to deceive.  Do not be deceived, there are some half-hearted efforts at beefburgers.  By half-hearted, I mean some really cheap and tacky efforts where you’ve eaten thicker and meatier cookies!  A bit like washing powder for your clothes, you cannot afford to take the cheap version when it comes to beefburgers.  It has to be the meaty, juicy, substantial in nature.  Anything else just won’t do.

There we have it – the beefburger.  Something to be savoured.  Something to be celebrated.  Something worthy of being a sponsor of this fine site.  Enjoy.




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